Vyr de Julie- The Sequel to Stellenbosch

After waking up from the debauch that was Saturday, Dmitri, Quynh, and I never wanted to see wine again. Someone ate all my potato chips (Dmitri) and left them scattered through my back seat. Somehow the three of us acquired a total of 7 wine glasses. And a lemon that looks like a lime. Then we made the long drive back through wine country, recounting all the crap that had just happened to us.

Since it’s the 4th of July, we had wanted to do something with all the Americans (read: Yalies) we knew, but only Emily could make it. After finally showering and eating some food, I headed out to pick up Emily from Observatory and then Quynh to head to Cape Point, the southernmost point in South Africa.

None of us have made it all the way down to the point before- each of us has taken our own trip to the seaside towns but that’s it. Quynh and I are still tired and Emily has retold a story of her going to a club named Gandalf’s with a VIP section called Mordor near her house.

To be super patriotic, I’ve brought my big American flag and put it in my back window and brought a miniature one for my dashboard. As we drive down towards Muizenberg, the sort of gateway to Cape Point, I’m left to think of a few things about driving. Quynh already hates how I drive because she says that I drive too fast and follow too closely. Neither of these are that true. But my car (its name is Jack- or at least, that’s what the guys at the rental place named it) has been holding up well.

Fun facts about Jack:
1) He’s a very old Toyota Corolla
2) In order to start Jack every day, I have to unlock a huge padlock off my gearshift, activate the immobilizer to lock my car, and turn off my anti-theft device bypass. Or else the car shuts off and I’m fucked.
3) The radio (which detaches or else my car would probably have been smashed into by now) doesn’t always work, signaled by really loud buzzing
4) When the radio does work, it only plays out of the front left speaker
5) Jack doesn’t like to go more than 120 km/hr or else he vibrates violently
6) Jack always has this whooshing sounds that makes you think the windows are open

Fun facts about the Cape Town road network:
1) Highways are split up into national roads, which can take you anywhere through South Africa, and major roads, which get you through the cities and towns
2) Highway signs are often posted way too far to the right, which forces me to count lanes whenever I have to follow them
3) Normal street signs are often little concrete markers right on street level rather than signs elevated above you, so it’s impossible to know where you are
4) Highways like to twist onto themselves, which make for impossible to read signs
5) Sometimes the signs are in Afrikaans, which is even more difficult
6) Robots (stoplights) don’t mean anything after 9:00 pm. There are actually laws that let you drive through lights if you think that there are creepy people waiting to smash into your car
7) You can’t turn left on red
8) Drivers in Cape Town are incredibly aggressive. When the driver ahead of you turns it is expected to overtake the car.
9) Walk signals do not turn on for very long
10) Speed bumps are bigger, longer, and hurt your car more
11) Taxis are the most godawful drivers on Earth (I’m pretty sure you have to have a criminal record, and cops reportedly don’t mess with them because drivers have shot at them). They have no respect for things with wheels, including the horse-drawn carriages that also share the road.


As we pass Muizenberg, I get excited because there’s both a huge water slide and mini golf (sounds just like Virginia Beach eh?) that I convince Emily we have to go back for sometime. Traffic is really congested because it’s a one-lane road and there’s construction and it’s a sunny day. In winters in Cape Town, it’s really a race against the clock to do nice things because almost everything here is weather-dependent. And with the influx of tourists for the World Cup, that race has a whole lot of people in it.

The most entertaining part of our drive is that there are signs along the road warning you of baboons and penguins. So of course we have to investigate both. On the way to Cape Point, there is a famous beach called Boulder’s Beach where penguins can be found walking around. Now, this was a split-second decision, because it’s already around 3:30, and Cape Point closes at 5:30 and we’re not that close to it yet. But how can you pass up penguins? I decide to wear my flag as a cape for the day as we go out and walk on the boulders, taking more hipster (read: disposable camera) pictures. At one point I try to see if I can use my flag like a bullfighter and act as a toreador with the penguins. Apparently penguins are more resistant to visual stimuli than bulls (quote: “It’s like the running of the bulls. But with an American flag. And penguins”- Quynh Do).
We jump back on the road, and I know I have to really speed to get down to Cape Point so it’s still light out. The number of baboons signs increases (alternating between triangles with exclamation marks that just read “Baboons!” and more detailed signs about the eating habits and health risks of baboons), as does the beauty of the sea and beaches alongside the mountain.

As we drive along the long, winding ridges of the mountains in this part of the peninsula, we notice that the cars are stopped ahead. This is because baboons have started to have sex in the middle of the street, and quite aggressively. There are mother baboons with little baby baboons clinging to them walking around, and uniformed animal control stand in the road with big stick with hooks, warning people in cars not to get out. There’s even a sign that is specially put up in this situation sponsored by Avis Car Rentals telling you of the dangers of baboons (I wonder if Avis covers for monkey-damage in South Africa? Or my car company for that matter). Of course I circle back so we can get a bunch of pictures of the baboons frolicking.

By the time we finally make it to Cape Point, we have driven through rocky valleys and hills and gorges and it’s 4:30. The land could probably be used to film movies set on other planets. As we walk up to where the lighthouse is that tried to warn ships that Cape Point exists, we see hundred of tourists shuttling back and forth, and get an occasional “Happy Independence Day!” from people who see my flag cape. We even run into my German housemates who have taken the day to also see Cape Point. Chinese/Japanese tourists also love taking pictures with the flag. I made an effort to jump onto rocks and elevated ledges to parade the flag. That’s called patriotism.

The view is wonderful though. The water is deep blue and we’re looking at where the Atlantic and Indian Oceans supposedly meet and blend together. If we had more time we would have gone to the beach (where there were apparently ostriches running around) or to the Cape of Good Hope, but alas all we could do was look around and take our pictures. We also didn’t want to be late leaving or else we would have been charged R500 for no real reason.

Driving back, we stopped by a store selling African crafts (think the wooden sculptures of large game animals you see- those stands are everywhere) so the girls could take pictures inside a wooden hippo’s mouth. As we continued on, we could see the sun setting, and so we managed to get the radio to work so we could play the Lion King soundtrack as I ran around outside with the flag and we took pictures of the sunset. If that’s not hipster I don’t know what is.

We stopped to get dinner in Kalk Bay at Cape to Cuba, a very famous restaurant that is Cuban themed. And of course, Cuban themed really means Communist-themed (complete with a huge stained-glass Lenin). It’s a good seafood restaurant right next to the train line that runs up the coast back to Cape Town, and full of chandeliers, kitsch, and Americans who loved my flag cape. Also a plus- you get free Che Guevara stickers with your receipt. That’s the sort of Communism I like to see.